Wills in Blended Families

Blended families bring together children from previous relationships, new partners, and sometimes children born to the new couple. Estate planning in these circumstances requires careful thought to ensure everyone is provided for fairly and to avoid potential conflicts. Without proper planning, children from earlier relationships can be unintentionally disinherited.

Common challenges in blended families

Blended families face several estate planning challenges that do not arise in first marriages:

• Competing interests: Balancing provision for a new spouse with protecting children from a previous relationship
• Risk of disinheritance: If everything passes to a surviving spouse, they may leave it to their own children rather than yours
• Property ownership: Deciding what happens to the family home, particularly if one partner contributed more than the other
• Stepchildren: Clarifying whether stepchildren should inherit and if so, how much
• Family tensions: Managing relationships between children from different families who may have different expectations

The sideways disinheritance problem

One of the biggest risks in blended families is what is sometimes called "sideways disinheritance." This happens when:

1. You leave everything to your spouse
2. Your spouse survives you and inherits your estate
3. Your spouse remarries or simply makes a new will
4. Their new will leaves everything to their own children or new partner
5. Your children from your first relationship inherit nothing

This is often not what anyone intended, but without proper planning, it is a common outcome. Many families across Kent, including in Tonbridge and Sevenoaks, come to us specifically to address this concern.

Using trusts to protect everyone

Trusts are often the solution to balancing the interests of partners and children. Several types of trust can be helpful:

• Life interest trusts: Your spouse receives income or can use assets during their lifetime, but the capital is protected for your children
• Right to occupy trusts: Your spouse can live in the family home during their lifetime, with ownership passing to your children afterwards
• Discretionary trusts: Trustees decide how to distribute assets among a group of beneficiaries, providing flexibility to respond to changing circumstances

The right trust depends on your specific circumstances and goals. Professional advice is essential to get this right.

Property ownership in blended families

How the family home is owned has significant implications for estate planning:

• Joint tenants: The property passes automatically to the surviving owner, regardless of what your will says
• Tenants in common: Each person owns a distinct share that can be left in their will

Couples in blended families often hold property as tenants in common so each can protect their share for their own children while still providing for the surviving partner.

Stepchildren and inheritance

Stepchildren do not automatically inherit under the Rules of Intestacy. If you want your stepchildren to benefit, you must specifically include them in your will.

Decisions about stepchildren can be sensitive. Some people treat all children equally regardless of biological connection; others prefer to leave their estate to their biological children. There is no right answer, only what is right for your family.

What matters is that your wishes are clearly documented and that you have considered the feelings and expectations of everyone involved.

Fairness and equal treatment

Many parents worry about treating children fairly. In blended families, this question becomes more complex. Consider:

• Have some children already received significant gifts or support?
• Do some children have greater needs than others?
• What have the children's other parents provided or will provide?
• What are the children's own expectations?

Equal treatment is not always the same as fair treatment. What matters is that you make conscious decisions that you can explain and justify.

Clear communication

While you are under no obligation to discuss your will with anyone, doing so can reduce surprises and conflict after your death. In blended families, where expectations may differ, some families choose to have open conversations about their plans.

If open conversation is not appropriate, a letter of wishes kept with your will can explain your reasoning and help beneficiaries understand your decisions.

Executor and trustee choices

In blended families, choosing the right executors and trustees is particularly important. Consider:

• Will family members from different sides of the family trust each other?
• Would an independent professional provide useful neutrality?
• Who can manage potential conflicts fairly?

Key takeaways

Estate planning in blended families requires careful thought to balance competing interests and avoid unintended consequences. Trusts can protect assets for children while providing for partners. Clear documentation and, where appropriate, open communication can reduce conflict. Professional guidance from experienced will writers helps ensure your wishes are properly recorded and your family is protected.